Shame

Shame

It's actually taken me a few days to think about this topic. I think I have played more of a guilty role on other people than a shame role. I remember when I was about 5 years old and I told one of my parents friends that I Hated him, because he told me I looked pretty! I have no clue to this day why I told him such a mean thing but I do remember my parents being so Embarrassed by my actions. I know when we got home I got punished and I knew I never tell anyone those words again! 

As I've gotten older though I have easily gotten shamed by my "Free Speech" choices, LOL! But I also been really quick to Guilt my friends for the things they say to others that I feel would hurt someone else's feelings. I guess thats why I've always been known as the "Mother" of all my friends because I'm always trying to correct someone. However, I now do this with my niece who is only 3 and extremely smart. She says things that only older kids or adults would say and I find that my sister (her mother) and I are quick to jump and apologize or be shamed ourselves for the things she says. Her father and my mom on the other hand don't say anything, they just laugh it off. I guess the question is: If we are never shamed or made to feel Guilt about some of our actions as children, would we become better adults who aren't afraid to take risk for what we want out of life?

This is such a weird topic because at the same time, I do feel having some tact about ourselves is something that must be taught and that strangely enough comes from shame or guilt...but I don't feel we should be shamed in our career, religious or relationship choices. I could go on and on about this subject because I think its all in perspective of the person who feels the shame or guilt, if the person who embarrassed you doesn't feel bad for shaming you doesn't it mean that they have excepted who they are and it is really you who is shamed of the choice you made to associate with the person who shamed or guilted you? Maybe my parents were embarrassed because they never thought to teach me before that moment that the word "Hate" was a negative word...because from what I remember the reason I said it wasn't to be mean but was because I heard the kids at school say it all the time and no of them took offense to it. So I wonder if being shamed or guilted into feeling a negative way about words or life choices is a decision we make? I can't lie I don't really allow people these days to shame or guilt me, but the other night my boyfriend said some really embarrassing comments way too loud at a restaurant we were at with a friend and oh was I shamed, but at the same time because I knew he was being funny I laughed...so I think it's a choice once you reach a certain age of knowing the difference. At least for me it is. 

Surviving Crazymakers

Crazymakers

It's hard to say exactly what type of "Crazymakers" one should watch out for in the film industry because you never know who can start as a real friend/ ally then become a crazymaking enemy! I guess I would say the ones to watch out for the most are the ones who when you first meet them, they immediately tell you everyones business or who to watch out for. How you can spot them is they are usually overly nice and always want to ask your life story. Most people who are in the industry to really work and progress tend to keep to themselves and stay out of trouble. It's usually not until you run into the same person/people on sets that you can start to build more of a associate in them than just a business relationship. 

I know it sounds weird and maybe I'm just too conditioned to the stereotypical way things work in the industry. However these rules have worked for me and I have been able to build lasting friendships/ mentorship and great business relationships over the years because I learned this...the hard way, LOL! I was told once by the department head for the television show "Treme", that the ones that hire you remember more of the great job you did before they remember you were friends with everyone and had all the latest gossip. Now the only people I listen to on sets or consider my allies are the ones who keep the "truth" about the snakes off the set and they don't do it a way to be crazymakers but in a way of concern. 

As far as my life outside of my career... well that's a whole other story! I can't say I have the easiest time avoiding "Crazymakers" in my personal life since most are family and close friends. I tend to be the leaning shoulder everyone calls to vent or spread rumors to because I honestly pretend I'm listening or I give good advice. The problem is, I tend to want to be the mediator because I don't like those close to me to hurt or feel like no one cares about their side of the situation. 

However, since taking this class and discussing these type subjects I can see that being apart of situations like this can do more harm to my well-being than help. So I've started to practice making those Crazymakers accountable for their own drama and negative or venting situations. I have way too much going on in my life right now to add other peoples issues to my life at this point. But I can't lie and say that sometimes I do use past situations for story ideas for future show ideas and concepts. So maybe one day all my crazymakers will make me some money! LOL!!!

Constructive Criticism

 There is one time in my life that I  received what I'm still not sure if was constructive or not however it did change my life! In 2003 I was living in Los Angeles as a "Struggling actress" and I needed to take head shots for the tv show I had just been cast on called " The Louie Guzman show" and I asked a friend of mine for suggestions on a photographer. Well once I scheduled my shoot my friend asked me if I had hired a makeup artist to do my different looks for my agents. I laughed at him and said I didn't need one, and that makeup was simple for these type of shots...well he replied, " Um, I'm telling you, you need to hire someone because I'm going to be honest, you don't know what your doing at all with your face!" Of course I rolled my eyes and cursed him out because I was so offended, no man should be telling me who of course didn't really wear makeup to begin with that my really dark brown lipliner with silver lipgloss and gold eyeshadow was wrong! Hahaha! Now mind you this was 2 years before I even started my journey to becoming a makeup artist. But strangely enough what his criticism did, negative or not, was make me go out and learn how to do my own makeup on a professional level so that I never had to feel embarrassed or rejected by someones opinion of me again. I eventually became addicted to learning more levels of makeup and got so good that people started coming to me for advice or to do theres for auditions. Once I moved back to New Orleans in 2004 I went on a job interview at a department store to work in the Men's shoe department and while there the hiring manager offered me my first makeup job because she thought my makeup was so nice. Eventually that lead me to being approached by the company I have now worked for 10 years, M.A.C cosmetics, where the hiring manager recruited me after Katrina in Baton Rouge because she had seen my potential. Ever since I've been working full time as a Professional makeup artist in film and tv as well. But one thing I never do is stop learning. I still take lessons and learn from artist who are further along than I am and I always encourage newer artist to do the same. So when people ask me how I got into makeup I always tell this story because my career that I NEVER thought I would do or considered as a young adult all came from a what I'll say now felt negative but was life changing for me. And what's funny is the friend who made the comments has not only referred me to many people and productions but has also hired me on productions he has produced... talk about a turn of events huh? LOL

If I had to give advice to a new student or anyone for that matter it would be to never let the opinions of others, good or bad, cause you to give up on your dreams. And also to take a step back and look at yourself fully and evaluate if the person who told you something saw something in you that needs to change based on what you portray to be... maybe your walk isn't as good as your talk? Doesn't mean they had the Right to say it to you or in the way they said it, but just make sure the next time they see you that they can't say anything but congratulations!